someone from Arizona...
and someone in australia 
are reading this dead diary heaps...
well, this palce is very much dead
even tho i still use it to read other people's blog

i don't write stuff as often these day...
i just want to be like everyone else
mindlessly, facebooking~
ha... i am sorry

experiencing a very frequence heart-acid
during some kinda emotional wondering this whole month
to be more accurate, is mroe like facebook stalking
causing me incredible pain and uncureable insomnia

to love someone
is like carving you heart into a shape
that is just like a key
it will only fit in that period of time
that beloved person
once you let go
your heart is taken out in the open air again
it harden, it heal, however it takes, it will go back to how is looks like
then you start to love again
those scares and harden tissue make the carving harder and harder
you bleed when you open an unheal wound

months, years later
then you realized you loved too much
too many things reminding you of all different shapes
day and night is a war
your heart is forcing itself to transform
your head is tell you is just memories
is a big rough hand holding your heart
and you looks so fragile in it

this makes you jump out of your skin
this makes me wanna stay inside
live in a bubble

this is way too serious...
I wrote it, you read it,
and let's forget about it

I still can't totally quit bloging... um~

day 10 and a half,
still living in the shadow of depression
what else I can say?
under the influence of semisynthetic psychoactive substance
thoughts and feelings are runing so fast in my head
it seems I feel much more than they really are
all those sorrow or happy things hitting so strongly in my heart
but it went very fast too
it is so much a release of those caged feelings
when I am hanging out with all those older friends
they are all so badly wounded
turn out I am the one that carry the purest heart around them
it suck... ha... or lucky?

this is not natural I know
but I don't really see another way

I want to talk
talking shits not making points
a pure clean intention

good company is so hard to find
when you find it
then you are so scared to ruin it...
yea...